A word's just a word

...until you mean what you say.

Since I have ample amount of time on my hands and nothing substantial to do with it, the reality that I'd be leaving in a week's time is what I'm slowly coming to terms with - or rather, forcing myself to come to terms with.

When I was a child, the younger Kristen would anticipate and count down the days to a yearly camp - Children's Camp. I would feel like I suddenly had a pair of wings to fly around and taste freedom as I'd be away from my parents and home sweet home - in simple words, I got to be with my friends for a whole week. A week, that is what I'm used to. But now, I'd be away for three months - give and take, two months. And that's what scares me. I'd be leaving everything behind - my family and friends, Nanny, my comfy bed, my wardrobe....everything - and this is when it comes down to the hardest part; saying goodbye.

My fingers race across the keyboard as I type this and I can't help but notice that words are popping up in the back of my mind, queuing up for the chance to be typed and explained.

At the tip of my tongue, sits the word Goodbye. Since the day I walked out of school - after the Economics paper - I kissed goodbye to all the square-minded teachers (excluding a few) who were always against everything I did, whatever I wore and even what I brought to the table. I kissed goodbye to waking up as early as 6 a.m to prepare for school. To sum it all up, I kissed goodbye to high school and all the fragments of memory that came along with it.

That very same day, Change meant something too. It meant turning over a new leaf to the phase of my life after high school. When I'd opt to have eyes of a child, wide-open and washed in wonder, anticipating for what lies ahead.

Now, Love means appreciating the people around me, who have been here with me through it all - thick and thin, good and bad, for better or for worse. Love, now, also means putting my loved ones first and spending time in their company before it is too late.

A few days ago, the Past meant making peace with what has happened and taking them as life experiences instead of regretting having done them for the rest of my life.

And from now till forever, Friends would always mean a wonderful thing. When it's good to have someone around to share secrets with, to comfort you on your worst days and to just be there even when there's no need to say anything. 

Someone I know once wrote:

 It's funny how the same word can carry so many different meanings. How it can spell pain and despair - or joy and hope and magic. How it can induce dread or anticipation.

It's all in the context.

It really is all in the context.