The sun has been blocked by big fat lumps of cotton candy-like clouds. The evening air smells nothing but sheer bliss - humid and fresh. Not as blissful as watching the sunset but blissful enough. It's the time of day when little children ride their bikes along the roads of my neighborhood, with their parents at close watch. When rempit wannabes speed like demons with the thrill for adrenaline. When parents are just about to arrive home to be with their families.
In that exact time of day, I met up with Him.
Our wish to meet up finally came true after numerous times of canceled dates and inescapable busy schedules. This time though, wasn't like the other times we'd meet up, and enjoy each others company. This time, after wanting to have The Talk with him, it was done. I wasn't as confident as I'd wanted to be as this was our first serious talk together and truth be told, I shivered. I was quite hesitant about asking him about everything, but in hope to uncomplicate my life, I did.
And now, I'm beyond ecstatic - beyond words, even - that everything is in the air, that everything is out in the open. It slightly surprised me at how honest he was being, that it showed in his eyes. In the exact moment he spat out all the truth I wanted to know of, his eyes were slightly welled up with little droplets of tears. He claims it's because he was sleepy, but I doubt and believe otherwise.
I'm not going to rant about everything here in my little nook, but just glimpses of our productive meet.
He said, "We've known each other for four years, longer than anyone I have ever kept in contact with or am close with. I know you, you know me. You know what I like and what I dislike, and I know the same. What could be any better than that?"
He said he is tired of looking for potential girlfriends - meeting new people and that whole tiring phase. Because every time he does, it fails within a matter of mere months. So he is waiting for what is right in front of him; Me.
I made it clear that if he's willing to make 'us' work, he's gonna have to wait till' after my senior year. Because I'm not gonna let the one guy who broke my heart all those years ago, walk back in without proving to me he's worthy of my second chance. I doubt, that's why.
And after a few seconds of awkward silence, he proves me wrong and agrees to wait for me. As those words tumbled out from his lips, I knew in the very core of my heart that everything is going to be just fine.
8/1/10
Since it was my last day (excluding Saturday and Sunday) of freedom before my hectic schedule of tuitions and studying creeps into my daily routine, I decided to meet up with him again for the second time in a week.
Despite the grey clouds that were peeping out from behind the clouds, we met up.
We didn't talk about anything too serious other than our daily happenings. Those happening that were too much to talk about or be informed about via text message. Come to think of it, I've never had such a comfortable time with him. I know I say this too often and maybe someday, a few years from now, I'd say it again, but it will be nothing but the truth. We have such a great time together, whether we have something to talk about or not. There's no replaying-the-words-in-my-head-before-I-speak urge or the cautiousness of whether I'm making a complete fool of myself. Maybe a little but I've never been this comfortable or close to a person of the opposite sex other than Roy, before. Which makes it even harder to get him outta my head.
Being trusted was never really something I cared about - except for gaining my parents trust, of course. Because I knew that no matter what I did, or whatever actions I made or no matter how much convincing I tried to do, nothing would ever go the way I'd planned. I cared even lesser for his trust towards me. But what happened yesterday changed something.
Since I informed him that I'll be applying for my driving license soon, he suggested I drive his baby. Knowing him, he NEVER lets anyone come as close to scratching or dirtying his car. What more, driving it. It took me awhile to comprehend what he was suggesting at first and after striking him with, "Are you sure?", over and over again, I took a deep breath.
He sorta hesitated a little after noticing fear in my eyes but we switched seats anyways. With him guiding me by my side with utmost patience, I drove. It's been awhile since I've been given the opportunity to drive with someone to guide me - the last time was with my Dad. I didn't drive and listen to his instructions as well as I'd like to say I did. He wasn't as patient as he'd hoped to be with me either, he soon confessed. I didn't mind that much cause' knowing myself, I am not patient at all. It really meant a lot to know how much he trust's me and that I was the first person he has ever let drive his baby. That's how much trust he has in me, he admitted.
_________
We look good together, like two pieces to make up a perfect puzzle. Everyone is convinced we're meant for each other and that he's all I ever will want. And having given it some thought, I couldn't agree more.
No one gets tired of loving... but everyone gets tired of waiting, assuming, hearing promises, saying sorry and all the hurting...
I feel the exact same way I felt when I expressed my feelings in the post: That's what you get
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