It's been two days since my part-time job at the Embassy of Sweden ended and it goes without saying that I already miss it there. I don't miss waking up at the crack of dawn and commuting solo all the way to my work place by LRT; those mornings could get a little lonely at times. But what I do and would miss, though, is the weekly supply of a basketful of fresh fruits which would always be in the pantry come Monday morning. I'd miss Friday's coffee break which was always insisted and deemed necessary by the Ambassador. I'd miss getting paid the amount most part-timers would only dream of earning, especially judging from the very little work I do. Then, there are my colleagues. There's a handful of them whom have selflessly done their part in making me feel welcomed - I felt like I was apart of a family. You know who you are, so if you're reading this, please know that I'm utterly grateful for everything.
Since I'm still on the topic of my job at the Embassy, I'd like to note that the duration I spent working there was not as glamorous or fancy as it seemed to be - glamorous and fancy are two of the most often words that are heard after my workplace has been mentioned in a conversation. There was something new to learn everyday and it wasn't always easy to catch-up on everything. And more often than not, due to taking things too lightly, I was a disappointment. I'd forget to turn on the switchboard or set the lunch message; I'd secretly spend hours and hours on Facebook and Twitter, while I procrastinate on finishing up my work; my desk would always be filled with post-its and in a complete mess; and when questioned about the Embassy's services, I'd ask my colleague to answer, even though she has taught me time and time again. I realized I pissed a lot of them off, unto the extent where complaints about my work-ethic had been lodged to the person who hired me. I failed as a worker of a prestigious Embassy; I failed myself, and most of all I failed the person whom had the utmost trust in me to take on such a job. If only there was some way I could make it up to her, other than saying "I'm sorry". As for my boss on the other hand, I bet she's relieved as well that my contract has finally ended.
Such bittersweet memories I brought along with me as I walked out of the building on my last day. As much of a disappointment I was or as much as I screwed up, finding out in the end that my careless actions affected my reputation was hurtful but regardless, I was taught a lesson to Never takes things too lightly and that life's not always fun and games. Working at the Embassy was a good stepping stone for what to expect and how to go about in the working world in the future, which I plan to only welcome back into my life once I've completed my studies - a long way to go. Hey, look at it this way. At least I gained something from my experience of working at the Embassy, right?
And so ends a chapter in my life.
When one door closes, another one opens, or so the saying goes. Indeed, as my contract with the Embassy came to an end, something else arose: College.
To be frank, the prospect of starting on a new ground scares me. It's knowing for a fact that it won't be like high-school - where you'd see the majority of your classmates the following year with no questions asked and where after years of schooling, you'd become accustomed to your surroundings - is what scares me most. I wasn't gifted with a sort of talent for changing form, lacking of the ability to dissolve and then flow around the needs of my surroundings, or the needs of mere quotidian reality. Change, I realized when inevitable, is something I don't take and conform to so well. It takes time, especially when a new chapter of my life will begin well, tomorrow. This time, I'd be meeting new people, learning new terms and things. Of course it's easier said than done - it's always easier said than done - but knowing myself, I'd eventually conform to my surroundings. I hope.
To those of you keen on knowing, I'm going to pursue 'A' levels at Brickfields Asia College, in July - 4th of July, tomorrow - and this decision has been made final by my parents (Well, Dad actually) In all honesty, this wasn't the pathway I'd planned on walking on. Pursuing Law was never apart of my life's master plan. It was as if I'd been brainwashed, but then again, not really because in the end I made the choice -a very last-minute choice, that is. I left it in the hands of God and it just so happened that this was the pathway I was lead to walk on. But surprisingly, I'm not minding it.
Come to think of it, I don't think I was ever sure of what I wanted to do except for the fact that I had a few things in mind. If anything, I wanted a job that would allow me either to travel, to write or to sing. And if I had lucky stars on my side, a job that would allow me to do all three would be more like it. But I guess things won't be falling into place like that now, would it? That's probably the beauty of life. Once in awhile, unpredictability intervenes and long-thought plans would then backfire to give you a hard smack in the face to prove a point; Sometimes things won't go according to how it's originally planned and that's okay. It doesn't matter if I might not get to do those things now, but I hope that at least for once in my life, I'd someday get to do them. Even if it would be just for the sake of doing it. It doesn't matter.
If only you walked in my shoes, would you then truly know how much I wish I had a say in my future. Without being influenced by those in my life or even brainwashed. Haih. But hey, like I said, it's okay. If there's one thing I learned from growing up in a family of dominating figures, it's to endure and just deal.
Anyways, excuse me for the rant. This is just a really big, current issue of mine. And besides, due to the often indecisiveness of which course I'd be taking, I hope this post answers your questions about which direction I'd be heading in. Otherwise, you know where to find me.
Ah, it feels so good to type out my thoughts once again, after weeks of absence. I hope, by the looks of my very reasonable college timetable, I'd be able to be more consistent.
But for now, I'll leave you with this. I've got a big day tomorrow so goodnight!
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