But as my paper ended early in the day, we were all left bored to tears as there was nothing for us to do to occupy all the time in our hands. We couldn't even study as we didn't bring along our textbooks. So school ended with sleepy eyes, leaving me agitated and annoyed.
Being a busy-body as all of them are, a certain friend of mine just had to double up the anger that was already bubbling inside me by bringing up something from my buried past. I refer to it as 'The Past' for a reason. I've moved on and so has she. We both have accepted the fact - at least I have- that what used to be will never be apart of our future. I've come to terms that my life is so much more merrier without people whom are only apart of my life just to bring me down. And she proved me right, I'm so much better off. Although it is apart of my past, I don't need to constantly be asked of what had happened between two childhood friends or be comforted by the cliche, "Everything will be back to the way it was" or even be assured things between us will be amended. I don't need any of such. But what I do need is for everyone to shut their pie-holes and stop bringing this issue up each time they intend to strike up a conversation with me.
Please, I beg of you to just let it cease into oblivion as all the issues I don't intend to relive have.
_____________________
Now, let's stumble upon something more current and light.
While I was having my shower this afternoon, a sudden wave of memories came washing up onto the shores of my mind as I was singing a very personal song - When I look to you by Whitney Houston. I was reminded of the times when my Dad would constantly keep keep a firm hold on me, keeping me homeward bound and locked away from the hustle and bustle of the world.
Of course, a father always has reasons. I was at the awkward and gullible age of thirteen and was so convinced I was in love.
Dad would confiscate my phone just to prevent me from keeping in contact with the then-current boyfriend, and he'd always make sure I kept my phone in the hall before I went to bed. He'd be such a nosey person whom would always go through my text messages and pictures just to find out whom that certain someone was. He'd instantly ground me when my grades were shitty and sometimes, for no reason, he'd try using his sleuthing skills to find out information on my daily happenings. Not being too oblivious or blur, I, too, played my game well. As well as I played it, my Dad - whom was a rascal in his early days- always knew.
How much could he do to protect my heart, anyway? I had to make my own mistakes and learn from them - doing it all the hard way. So he did what he could always do; Advise me. Even when there were times he could only say so little, he managed to say so much. He warned me about the various kinds of guys and advised me to not give into bullshit in the name of LOVE. Once, after a few minutes of waiting to pick me up from school and observing, he told me that no one in my school is a compatible match for me. None. Daddy constantly reminded me of how much I was worth and how much I deserved so much better - comparing me to a precious and rare jewel. I was just too blinded by what I thought was love to see it.
Coming on seventeen, I'm beginning to appreciate all that he used to do even more. From changing my diapers when I was too young to even know where the toilet was, to sticking up for me when I was blamed for a misunderstanding among my peers. I appreciate it all cause' at least I was lucky enough to have someone whom was and will always be my pillar of strength, whom will always make sure I had someone to turn to in times of need while some of my friends have never had a father figure in their entire lives.
Having someone that will always be there for me won't stop me from following my heart and doing what I think is best but having someone be there for me will surely make my decisions bearable. Even if they aren't the best choices, I'd at least have people who'd prep me up and re-boost my self-confidence.
I wouldn't be where I am now If it weren't for my Dad, that's for sure.
I've managed to put my life into perspective and sort out what is most important. And right now, all that is important is only concerning my studies and my future (friends too, of course). I'm beginning to embrace being single even more as I have too much to juggle on my plate as it is. Singing it like the Pussycat Dolls, "I don't need a man to make it happen". I've also realized that I don't need just one person to make me feel loved.
All the love I used to have or feel for a certain someone is now being transitioned towards my friends and family. They really have been angels. Heaven sent, if you may. I couldn't even wish for them to be anything more to me as they already mean the world. I'm now starting to appreciate them even more. No good deed goes without a blessing in return.
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