Memories are all I have of you

12th Nov 09'.

From the much needed slumber, I suddenly sprang awake at 5.30 a.m. Not quite the usual time I wake up every morning but... close. I stayed wide awake for only a few minutes, then decided to head right back to bed to bed before my sleepiness wears off.

When I did, I found myself caught in a dream. A dream that hasn't been dreamt for quite some time.

It's my typical Friday evening, around 7 p.m. when the skies are two shades darker. Mum and I are on our way to home fellowship. Today, though somehow rather it's being held at some non-believers home. Mum stopped in front of a run-down, kampung-styled home in search for the other home fellowship members. Since we couldn't see any of them around, we decided to ask some of the residents. Mum walked up to one of the houses - I followed closely behind - and knocked on the door. When a lady came out, I realized my Mum's facial expressions changed. They seemed to know each other, like they've known each other in another life or something.

We stepped inside, looked around and Mum asked about the other members. I was a few steps behind when a door on my left shrieked open. Always being a little too inquisitive, I peeped in. When I did, sitting on the couch, right in front of my eyes, starring right at me was my late grandfather. I felt a mixture of emotions stirring up inside of me - confused, sad, happy, bewildered. "It's unbelievable", I told myself and blinked a few times to make sure I wasn't imagining again. Still not too certain, I asked my mum to check it out.

"Do you see Grandpa in there on the couch, straight ahead?"
"No, I don't see anyone there but an old couch". Mum replied with a weird look on her face.
"But he's there, he looks so real". I insisted again.

Before I tried insisting, she was off to somewhere else around the house.

I, on the other hand, couldn't take my eyes off him. It's been a long while since I last saw him. Plus, he looked so real. I took a few steps forward and flung open the door wide open. Again, stunned I was, standing there. I saw my grandma, Nanny, on the couch beside Grandpa and on her far right... was baby Belle and myself, as babies in diapers. Playing our imaginary games.

All I did was stood there, with my jaw slightly opened in shock. Too shocked, that not even a word could come out from my mouth. Suddenly, an emotion hit me and I had puddles of tears overflowing down my cheeks.

"It's been so long. I've missed you", was all I could say under my breath even though there were so much more that needed to be said.

When I felt the tears, I woke up. I woke up and tried to comprehend every little detail. And then I thought, "Wow". It's been such a long time since I've had dreams of my Grandpa. His absence in my life makes it so much more harder to cope. This recent dream, though, makes me look forward to many more. But if they fail to meet me in Dreamland, at least I'll have memories to hold on to.