i'm no dreamer

A lot had to be sacrificed this past week for all my attention and spare time had to be drawn towards revising and studying for my exams. The first week of exams can finally be placed in the past but there's still another week to go. Well, it's gonna be this way throughout the entire year so I suppose I have nothing to be too jolly and relieved about. Even though my heart beats impossible fast, my hands sweat and my stomach lurches every time I'm under stress when sitting for exams, I'm being head-strong and am ready to face it all head-on.

Just recently, I realized that I'm not a dreamer.



For dreamers dream and ever so often, those dreams remain as only mere dreams. Only sometimes, very rarely, those dreams become reality. Seeing as too many people I know dream without having that pathway leading to where they want it to lead, I choose to vary. Because a dreamer is so much more than just a word used to portray a personality or a person.

A dreamer is someone who wishes to escape from reality. Or simply someone who aims to make life's blank canvas a colorful journey. It's being whisked away on a unicorn to another world. Flying without wings. Jumping off a building that scrapes the sky and still finding yourself alive. Walking on clouds. Drawing or writing on imaginary paper. Visiting the whole world in 24 hours. Never having any responsibilities bestowed upon you. Yes, that's dreaming.

Whereas in my world; Reality, such fantasies never do come true or exist. With a huge grin across my face, I'm somehow glad they don't.

I don't want a fire-breathing dragon outside my window when I wake, Edward coming to my rescue every time he senses there's trouble, having every famous celebrity I'd wished to date at my front door all lined-up and ready to take me on a date or even being granted every wish I make.

Sometimes, reality has it's breath-taking moments. All unexplainably blissful, speechless, happy, emotional, heart-aching, tear-jerking moments. I have my eyes wide open and am aware of every detail of what life engulfs me with.

I'm happy I'm able to love, to give my heart to another.
I'm happy to be able to make mistakes and learn from them.
I'm happy things change.
I'm happy time passes quickly although I'm never satisfied with all the hours in a day.
I'm happy I'm able to learn and expand my knowledge.
I'm happy I can write my heart out.
I'm happy I'm blossoming into a young lady.

In simple words, I'm happy with my reality...

Here's two of the many categories that I want to be/am happy with:

Love

All I want is for that someone- anyone - who can sweep me off my feet and make me thank god everyday for my being with such a man. He should be worthwhile. He should be good enough to deserve me. He should be willing to sacrifice. And most of all, he should place the Lord Almighty first in his life. That way, I wouldn't mind coming in at second place.

Life

I only pray my eyes be of a wondering child who seeks new adventures and new beginnings to fulfill that hunger for all the world has to offer. I want to walk that stable pathway where greater things are promised at the very end of that winding road. I want to breathe in freedom. I want to allow everything that surrounds me to swallow me whole. I want to laugh whole-heartedly and to live freely. Most of all, to never stop living...


P.S - Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm following my heart.