you're much better






Dear you,

I remember the first time I met you. You were standing tall next to me while we were waiting for our turn in the water balloon game. At that time, I only knew your friend. So, I suppose that's how we got along - through him.

A few minutes later, the rain paid us a visit - a heavy downpour. We ran into the hall, shivering. We were soaked thoroughly. Before I could warm myself up, both of you guys pushed me in the pouring rain. But it didn't matter, cause' I was soaked already anyways and I love the rain.

The next vivid memory I have of you was when it was our departure day at camp. We were seated side-by-side - accompanied by our other friends surrounding us. The hall was packed with luggage's everywhere. It was only a matter of time before we headed home. So, we exchanged autographs, e-mail ad's.... you know, the usual kinda stuff eventhough we were getting on the same bus. We were seated next to each other all the way back to church - making the most of our time capturing memories.

After that 'goodbye', came the everyday we spent texting each other for almost every single minute of the day (which lasted till the end of 2008).

As the year 2009 arrived, it wasn't long before I met you again.

I remember sitting with you on the basement bench, just thinking of what to say... analyzing every word before I spoke it, every gesture before I did it. Often, I just gave up on saying anything. And made my illness as an excuse (which you hardly fell for). So, we were just seated there, undisturbed, and in silence. Well, not complete silence but it was close - the conversation wasn't flowing like it should.

I believe this next memory was the best. We made our way to the mamak stall, cause' it was the closest we could get to good food. We sat alone, undisturbed by our friends. I could sense their curiosity by the way they stared. But we couldn't have cared less. This time, our conversation was flowing. I already warmed up to you and you, me. And I felt happy, for the first time in a long time. I felt the same happiness I felt when I was with my first true love... Then, you paid for my drink. Which I thought was pretty sweet (cheesy, but sweet), chivalrous in fact.

This following memory of you was the sweetest. I texted message you one night, just to say "Hi", but after a few minutes, you called saying you had no credit. The sweetest thing is that you walked all the way to the phonebooth just to tell me so. But then you admitted, that maybe you just wanted to hear my voice cause' it's been such a long time since we talked.

And a few days ago (before today), I agreed on going out with you to a movie. Just like you, I too was so looking forward to that day. But things got in the way - I got grounded the day before. And I believe that disappointed you eventhough you kept assuring me that it's okay. Well, it wasn't for me. I'm not sure why, but every time we plan something, it doesn't work out. But I can't give up now - it would feel like a sin. And when you told me that you'll definitely be looking forward to that time, I smiled to myself.

But I've yet to await that moment. I want to take things slow for a change.